From the Deacon's Desk

Today’s gospel is the familiar story of The Prodigal Son from the Gospel of Luke. The following is a homily I delivered on this gospel BACK IN 2022:

When I was in graduate school, one of the simplest and most useful insights shared with me came from a professor of Cognitive Psychology. He said, “Nearly every thought or behavior of a human being is focused on staying in balance or restoring balance.”

That perspective not only helped me in subsequent psychology classes, but also helped me understand my own thoughts and behaviors a little better. 

Physical balance – we burn calories, so we take in calories by eating; we expend energy, so we conserve energy by sleeping. 

Mental balance – when our brain has been active for an extended period of time, we take a break to shut it down by listening to music or watching mindless television. 

Spiritual balance – we are bombarded with worldly images and desires, so we pray or meditate or read scripture to offset the impact and bring us back into balance.  

The words of the professor and his emphasis on balance came back to me as I reflected on the theme of today’s readings – the theme of reconciliation.   

Reconciliation is, by definition, the act of restoring something or bringing it back into balance. For instance, when we reconcile a relationship, we recognize that something is off and take the necessary steps to bring it back into balance. The reconciliation of our bank accounts is often called “balancing the books” – we spend too much money, so a deposit is needed to bring the numbers back into balance. 

In his Second Letter to the Corinthians, St. Paul wrote: “And all this is from God, who has reconciled us to himself through Christ and given us the ministry of reconciliation…”

What does that mean? 

Let’s break it into two parts:

Part 1 – God reconciled us to himself through Christ: The divide between God and His people had become too vast. They couldn’t connect with God. They felt He was remote and couldn’t understand their human challenges. Recognizing His relationship with the people was out of balance, God sent His Son. Jesus was both human and divine. This is what Paul was alluding to when he wrote, “…Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” The separation between God and His people was removed. His people, including all of us, were reconciled to Him.

Part 2 – God has given us the ministry of reconciliation: In addition to restoring our relationship with Him, God has called us to the ministry of reconciliation – the responsibility to serve as a bridge between God and others – to be ambassadors of Christ. He wants a relationship with all of us. We have, in essence, become the balance.

The theme of reconciliation is also found in the gospel we heard today, although it is often viewed only as a story of forgiveness.

The parable of the Prodigal Son is the standard for what it means to forgive and for what unconditional love looks like. However, there is more at work here than forgiveness – there is a personal encounter.

If the story were only about forgiveness, the son could have sent a messenger to his father to say, “I realize now I have offended you, please forgive me.”

The messenger could then have returned to the son with a simple response from the father, “You are forgiven.” The shame and guilt would have been gone, but no forward movement would have occurred – that was made possible by the journey home, by the son’s personal encounter with his father.

Luke tells the story of the encounter like this: While the son was still a long way off, his father caught sight of him, and was filled with compassion. He ran to his son, embraced him and kissed him.

A face-to-face, personal encounter – the son offering true contrition and the father offering unconditional love. The relationship was restored, brought back into balance. That wouldn’t have happened with words of forgiveness alone. 

It was a reconciliation story.

The words forgiveness and reconciliation are often used interchangeably. Forgiveness frees the offender of guilt and shame. Reconciliation, however, is an added step, and is essential to nurturing a relationship.

Perhaps we can think of it in this way: Think of the offender as a car going in reverse. When forgiveness is offered, the brakes are applied, and the car stops. Forgiveness has neutralized the offense. It’s good that the offender is not going backward anymore, but it’s not going forward either. Reconciliation puts the car in drive and allows it to begin moving forward. Should the car continue to move forward, balance is restored, and conversion of heart is possible. Conversion of heart makes it less likely the offense will be repeated.

Forgiveness, reconciliation, conversion.

Carol and I watched the movie, Let It Go, earlier this week. It was based on a true story and detailed a tragic accident wherein a teenagedrunk driver crashed into another vehicle, killing another man’s wife and three of his children. 

A hearing was held to determine whether to try the teenager as a juvenile or as an adult. Tried as a juvenile, the young man would serve a little over three years and be released when he turned 21 years of age. If tried as an adult, he would receive a thirty-year prison sentence.

As difficult as it was, the grieving man requested that the young driver be tried as a juvenile, so that he might be given the chance to live a meaningful life. He forgave the young man, saying, “It is God that is allowing me to forgive you.”

The man later visited the teenager in prison. They had a conversation in which the man again offered forgiveness, shook the teen’s hand, and encouraged him to honor his wife and children’s memory by living a good life. The teen broke down in tears.

Forgiveness was offered in words across a courtroom. Those words stopped the car from continuing in reverse. Reconciliation was made possible through the personal encounter in the prison. The car was then able to move forward. A relationship doomed to fail was restored. 

Forgiveness, reconciliation, conversion.

The power of personal encounter is real. Whether that encounter is with another person we have offended, or in the confessional with a priest because we have offended God, a door of opportunity is opened.

I came across a phrase that successfully merges the concepts of forgiveness and reconciliation. The phrase is “Forgive concretely.” Forgiveness is a beautiful gift in any form. However, when we forgive concretely, we include a personal encounter. Reconciliation then leads to a restoration of balance and a conversion of heart.

Forgiveness, reconciliation, conversion.